Tuesday, August 29, 2006
I'M LIVING NOW. (It is so Petty. (Is it so Petty?))
"Somewhere, somehow somebody
Must have kicked you around some
Tell me why you wanna lay there
And revel in your abandon
Listen it don't make no difference to me baby
Everybody's had to fight to be free
You see you don't have to live like a refugee"
A return to my third (gasp) year of college, to the life of the mind, to a place full of people as young, vigorous, stupid, inexperienced, heartbroken, depressed, horny, excited, and lost as I am... Ah. I do love school.
From the first day of kindergarten, something about the first day(s) of school has given me a feeling that could be a direct translation of that very word...a garden of children. A garden for children. (It's not Herr Whitney...don't get upset with my translation).
It is the starting over that I love, it is the wind-in-your-hair, driving-too-fast, musty-gluey-smell-of-books, the touch of paper, the glide of pen, the gleam of educators in their relentless enthusiasm. Le sigh. I love all that is the intellectual arena of this country (the world?). I love the tides of bodies across campus, everyone pooling in and out of Georgian buildings, gates of brick and column.
It is a relief that this freshness is still here. Going to a small (I repeat: small) liberal arts university has its negative social ramifications, and the imperfection, collision, heartbreak of my life to date certainly was reason enough for my apprehension at returning to school. But, surprise(!!!), I don't have to run away, burn bridges, be a refugee...
Memories too are experiences of the present moment. And the present moment seems to explode in flora and fauna everywhere I turn. Old friends, new lovers, lovely asthetics, nature, art, words, creases of human flesh, calling of names, baking of sun, aching feat, heaving sighs...that which is HERE, NOW...and gone, fleeting, flux, winding, running, flowing, stretching, contracting, moving, moving, moving...
So, here we are. We can be no where else. Cheers!